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| Elder Daughter in Front of the Battered Climbing Frame |
A charming young man even came out armed with a catalogue, refused a cup of tea, and carefully measured up. Later Ken brought us computer images of how our kitchen would look. It was showroom plus. The epitome of good taste. How could anyone not fall in love with that?
The cost though was prohibitive. ‘Well you did choose the most expensive options,’ said Ken. ‘That’s because there were no prices in the catalogue,’ I replied.
Alas the fancy images were given short shrift and the project postponed for a year and so we have gone instead for a facelift using beech worktops and new lighting from IKEA and some fancy tiling. It will see us out anyway. I sense our years in this house are limited. In three or four we shall have downsized to some shoe box somewhere, stripped of a lifetime’s accumulated possessions. We shall have to leave our kitchen behind. Ah well!
Ken has disappeared again now in the way that builders do, though I have to say he did put in a prompt appearance to fix a leaking cistern and to carry out some major surgery on a hedge. This gives me time to learn something about tiling and worktops. But for the moment I need to turn my attention building a climbing frame. I was so appalled at the prices charged for climbing frames when the children were small that I designed and built one myself. It was the shape of a truncated pyramid with a base 2 metres square and it had bars on the side for clambering up. The children loved it - it became a house, a ship, a car, somewhere to hang wet washing. It even became an umpire’s chair when we used to play soft tennis on the lawn. Later its use evolved into somewhere to keep livestock: wrapped in wire netting it became a temporary pen for geese and chickens. Finally it rotted and went the way of all flesh. So now I am commanded by Younger Daughter to build another for Theo and Bean, a rectangular one this time, to fit the confines of her small Cardiff garden. What are Sunday’s for?
As it happens last Sunday I was travelling back from Le Havre, not somewhere you would wish to go unless you were going somewhere else, if you see what I mean, for it was bombed to bits in the war. Three thousand French civilians died in the Le Havre bombing, so my friend who lives there tells me, and the then German commander actually pleaded to be allowed to evacuate the town. It made no difference. Anyway it was rebuilt in a concrete Stalinist style and won some UNESCO award, though I am not sure for what. In fact, like Slough, another bombing might be doing it a service.
John lives in a village outside the town and used to teach English there. We were at university together in the 1960’s - those halcyon days when the authorities actually paid you for the privilege of giving up your valuable time to be educated. Not that either of us has done a very great deal since, come to that. Still, there is time yet I tell myself.
I have been asked to return next month to Cambridge to give a talk on the amateur research I have been doing for the last thirty years on Neolithic sites in the Vale of Glamorgan and I am hurrying to prepare a booklet summarising this work and to have it printed before then. I conclude that the Neolithic people must have been able to write and that they measured the circumference of the earth, which is something rather easier to do than you might imagine. You can even do it yourself if you are a good judge of distance, have excellent eyesight and some knowledge of Pythagorean geometry. Of course you probably won’t be very accurate but that doesn’t matter: it is the principle that counts.
What the learned souls - students mostly - who will listen to me will make of this I tremble to think. I cannot talk from a script - even notes distract me. The only way I can address an audience and hope to hold their attention is simply to talk and hope I don’t dry up. Nevertheless, I am scared. I see in my mind’s eye only a field of cold, hard, sceptical academic stares which any amount of smiling and amusing anecdote may fail to melt. And to talk on buoyantly for fifty minutes when the audience is as receptive as a brick wall is hard, even when you know the material well. I know, I have often done it and in the theatre it is far easier to act when you have the audience on your side.
Ken the builder is sympathetic and I sense knows the feeling. I want him to repair the soffits and fascias at the top of the house where rot and jackdaws have made a hole. ‘Are you OK with heights?’ I ask solicitously. ‘Oh, I’m not worried by heights,’ says Ken. ‘I don’t have a fear of falling.’
‘That’s all right then,’ I say.
‘No,’ says Ken. ‘It’s just the fear of hitting the ground that terrifies me.’









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