Someone posted some cruel pictures the other day of icicles hanging by a Northumbrian wall, just waiting to fall. Like vertical and down-pointing javelins. But they also seemed to look like the bars to a prison. Which triggered a sketch for a story.
"She was locked away for 1000 years by the ice queen, imprisoned in a cage made of icicles. There she waited for a handsome prince to breathe fire over the ice, to free her and melt her heart"
But if a prince wasn't up to it she'd be happy to settle for a dragon, which is what she did. A passing dragon, on a trade mission from Wales, spotted her entwined in her icicles and blew her a fiery kiss. The icicles melted and the princess was free at last.
But the ice queen was enraged at being tricked by the dragon. She summoned the prince (whose name was George) and told him to slay the dragon and she would make him patron saint of all England and give him a flag as well.
George, was flattered by this and accordingly gave battle; the dragon was sad at the prospect for he didn't like fighting that much; so was the princess, because she was becoming quite fond of the dragon and looking forward to living in Carmarthen where the dragon had a home. He told the princess that it had two doors and that if she came home and married him she would be a two door princess too and her sons would be two door princes and famous and would build lots of buildings with dragons on them to remind people how important dragons were.
But George had a long, sharp and pointy lance. And a horse. He pierced the dragon with his lance so his fiery breath came out of his side and not his mouth. The wound was very painful and so the dragon had to give up and crawl sadly away. George whisked the princess away and promised to marry her the next day. "This is worse than being in the ice castle" thought the princess and told George he really should at least take a shower.
That night it was very cold and snow tumbled out of the sky. The princess shivered. She was even colder than she'd been in the ice castle. Especially as her heart was frozen. And her bed had a lump in it.
The next day dawned. Sadly, she looked out of the window. Suddenly her heart leapt! For there in the sky she could see three dragons breathing fire, their wings beating and causing a great wind. The princess could feel the thaw when the dragons' fire swept over them and then everything froze once more. George rushed out of the Palace (it had lots of doors) and jumped on his horse. He grabbed his lance but in his hurry he had forgotten his helmet. In the Palace the princess could see that a long icicle had grown beneath her window. Now she hacked at it with a poker. She heard it crack and the icicle fell like an arrow. It fell and fell and went straight into the top of George's head. "I think he's dead!" said someone.
Hurrah! shouted the dragons. Hurrah! went the princess. One of the dragons came close to her window. She climbed on its back and they flew away over the border to Wales ('where there are no icicles,' said the dragon, 'and all the houses have two doors'.
And so they went in through one of them and lived happily ever after."
